Friday, October 29, 2010

The Jack-O-Matic by james robert

Horner proudly presents
The amazing Jack-O Matic
Folks, this rascal's a keeper
And won't end up in the attic

It has 112 speeds
It slices,dices and purees
With its patented uranus battery
It will keep running for days

In turns an entire buffalo
Into bouillon in just a minute
But frankly Scarlett, we couldn't care less
What you actually put in it

It'll crush ice
Or it will do the dishes
It will make come true
Most of your culinary wishes

It will liquefy and grate
Or just nip off the edges
It will scrub the kitchen floor
Or trim the driveway hedges

This technological marvel
Will shred, grind or blend
And before you can say, jack horner
It'll become your home's best friend

It cleans your household carpets
Gets rid of unsightly warts
Does most of the kid's homework
Including their book reports

It will mash your spuds
Or make them au gratin
It also acts as a blender
I had almost forgotten

For all this great blendage
Would $99.00 be too steep a fee
Well I hope your sitting down folks
For the next hour, this will all be free

Dedicated to jack horner

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