Friday, December 31, 2010

Wishes And Hopes
At Christmas And Beyond

Wishing you fair breezes
and each season's delights;
with sunlit days
and starlit nights.

Hoping good health visits
and stays through the year,
and keeps you close
to those you hold dear.

Wishing you peace of mind
with a heart that is light;
to be productive each day
and rest well each night.

Hoping you find time
for what most lights your fire,
and become not a stranger
to your heart's most desire.

Wishing most of all
many gifts from above;
and if blessed with but one,
let's pray that it's love!

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year,
Jim Johnson - 3717, #223

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Christ is in Christmas

I gazed out the window,
At nature's mantle of white;
Arriving as if on cue.
With thoughts of childhood's toys,
And yesteryear's joys,
Conspiring to adjust my view.

I longed for that spirit
Known in my youth;
Feelings of awe and good cheer.
Then as if from above
Came Faith, Hope and Love.
Surely the Light was near.

Christmas is family and sharing.
It's Santa and elves.
It's presents under a tree.
But our Savior's birth is the reason,
He lent his name to this season;
To fill willing hearts with glee.

Merry Christmas from Jim Johnson (3717, #223)

Monday, December 13, 2010

The One Day Only james robert

Tis the season of giving.
Buy one; get four free.
Hey, what if I only want two,
how much is it going to cost me?

Buy all you want.
No payments til you're 50.
Well if I pass by age 49,
than the purchase was truly thrifty.

Our most popular unit,
is $695 out the door.
But if you buy in the next 5 minutes,
for free, you'll get three more.

There's free financing during our sale,
so just go to Helen Waite.
She's our new credit manager.
For best selection, don't be late.

Of course, there's never a charge,
for restocking, handling or shipping.
But if you want the last one in stock,
you may have to resort to tipping.

Friday, December 10, 2010

Economics james robert

I'm not saying that it shouldn't be legal.
I'm just saying that I care.
When an athlete gets a zillion dollar contract,
I always lose a bit of my hair.

I know that it's simply supply and demand.
They get what the market will bear.
Too many are dumb as a box of Fig Newtons.
This just seems so damned unfair.

The player's pay is fast approaching,
the GDP of a third world state.
This you get for throwing or catching a ball.
Somehow, I just can't relate.

I know that this won't be changing soon.
This is what's paid for these kinds of skills.
Dad, mom and the 2 kids can go to a game,
or pay their monthly utility bills!

Thursday, December 9, 2010 james robert

During this, the greatest holiday season of the year,
I resign myself to treat all of my brothers and sisters,
with the utmost love and respect.

Of course, this does not include
alarmists, abortionists, anarchists,
arse kissers, bad priests, brown nosers,
cheaters, communists, evil doers in general,
liars, many politicians ( including some Presidents ),
radical Islamists, Sister Mary Bernice, terrorists,
traitors, people who drink, tailgate,
or text while driving a motor vehicle,...

On second thought, I just resign!

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

At times we act just like james robert

At times we tend to get tired.
Sometimes we even feel beaten.
Sometimes we even feel hungry;
at times even though we've just eaten.

At times we tend to get sad.
Sometimes we even get crazy.
Sometimes we even shut down;
at times even though we're not lazy.

At times we tend to doubt.
Sometimes we even despair.
Sometimes we even hurt others;
at times even though we still care.

At times we tend to err.
Sometimes we even act mad.
Sometimes we even find reward;
at times even though we are bad.

At times we tend to act human.
Sometimes we even fall down.
Sometimes we even act lost;
at times even though we are found.

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

A Few Politically Incorrect Thoughts... by james robert

The chasm is a million miles wide,
and expanding each and every day.
The left and right slug it out,
and surely someone has to pay!

Many say "Kumbaya,
can't we all just get along.
While they toss The Pledge,
God, and that National Anthem song!

Our educators are protecting kid's rights,
so they may abort or get some ass.
While we make nice with insane radical Islam,
because our cars still run on gas!

They want to take from the rich,
and make permanent slaves of the poor.
The billions already spent solved little,
save the desire for more and more!

The architect of this great universe,
never promised cradle to grave free lunch.
Though I fear this message wasn't received,
by many of the ruling bunch!

I'll take my government,
without so much of the "New Deal".
I don't want seatbelt laws, helmet laws,
or food police, and where's my "Happy Meal"?

Thursday, December 2, 2010

Sanity james robert

Every year about this time,
Congress attempts to pass this bill.
Oh how I wish it hadn't made,
it's way to Capital Hill.

I perused the new legislation,
just passed this very night.
It was a most contentious battle,
between the left and right.

All the areas of disagreement,
were ironed out in conference committee.
That the matter was taken up at all,
is in itself the greatest pity.

After the House and Senate,
agreed to this bill without precedent,
it was sent to the White House,
to be signed by the current resident.

The President called a press conference,
at which there was no applause.
It was then announced to all,
this year, there would be no "Sanity Clause".

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

The Twelve Nights Of Christmas... by james robert

On the first night of Christmas,
I was given a Christmas tree.
It was huge and beautifully decorated,
just like you'd want it to be.

On the second night of Christmas,
I was given coins of gold.
They were so rare and beautiful.
What a sight to behold.

On the third night of Christmas,
I was given a pile of cash;
crisp one hundred dollar bills,
man did I have a stash.

On the fourth night of Christmas,
I was given a BMW 7-Series Bimmer.
Boy oh boy, this car could fly.
This was no Stanley Steamer.

On the fifth night of Christmas,
I was given diamonds galore.
I stayed awake until quite late,
hoping to find a few more.

On the sixth night of Christmas,
I removed the lowest branches of the tree.
I hoped to make a bit more room,
for more and more gifts for me.

On the seventh night of Christmas,
as it was getting late,
I thought, this is all I'm getting,
after such a lengthy wait?

On the eighth night of Christmas,
I said, forget all this Christmas fluff.
Just gimme, gimme, gimme,
where's all my Christmas stuff?

On the ninth night of Christmas,
I knew things weren't right.
I had received many great gifts,
and yet, I was so uptight.

On the tenth night of Christmas,
I had lost all my Christmas glee.
Was there a deeper meaning to this,
beside just me, me, me?

On the eleventh night of Christmas,
I prayed my eyes might see.
I knew that Christmas had to mean,
more than presents under a tree.

By the twelfth night of Christmas,
I had my old thoughts on the run.
Christmas wasn't about material gifts,
it was about the birth of the Father's Son!

Merry Christmas To All...From Jim Johnson (3717, #223)

Saturday, November 20, 2010

The Junk Man james robert

The man of the cloth
was afraid to fly;
in the U S of A,
in the now unfriendly sky.

Many young children
who sang in the choir;
no longer flew,
they had no desire.

The entire Taylor family,
for whom the town was founded,
now opted for terra firma.
They chose to stay grounded.

It wasn't the altitude
that troubled the monk.
It was the TSA agents,
handling his "junk".

It wasn't the extra $50,
the choir was charged for their trunk.
It was the federal government,
taking a picture of their "junk".

The Taylors didn't mind the old metal detectors,
or removing their shoes.
But they feared a picture of the family "junk"
might make the six o'clock news.

So we now have the Taylors, 
the choir, and a reluctant monk,
all aboard a Greyhound bus,
in order to protect their "junk".

Tuesday, November 16, 2010 james robert

sometimes i need you a little
sometimes i need you a lot
sometimes i'm a little warm
sometimes i'm red hot

sometimes i want to fly with you
sometimes i just want to lie with you
sometimes i get by with you
sometimes i me oh my with you

sometimes i miss your mind
sometimes i miss your heart
sometimes i miss your body
sometimes i miss your art

sometimes i ache and i cry with you
sometimes i hide a wet eye from you
sometimes i live and i die with you
sometimes i really get high from you

sometimes i'm sadly in love with you
sometimes i'm really hurtin
sometimes i'm madly in love with you
sometimes i'm quite certain

sometimes i really long for you
sometimes i sing my song for you
sometimes i think i'd do wrong for you
sometimes i think i belong with you

Monday, November 15, 2010

Fiscal Incomprehensibility

A couple trillion here.
A couple trillion there.
Yet many still want more.
Who's watching the store;
Yogi the bear?

Spending late and early.
All sides are getting surly.
I'm getting quite unnerved.
Would we be better served,
By Larry, Moe and Curly?

The days are a lot less sunny,
Since we've spent the kid's money.
We've done it all with ease.
Now I'm learning to speak Chinese.
Please pass the hemlock, honey!

Sunday, November 14, 2010

Fiscal Insanity!

Life's getting insaner and insaner,
the grayer and grayer I get.
I fear the earth may be hell bound,
and likely to get there yet.

The lies are getting thicker and slicker,
and too many think that is fine.
When the words, "free lunch", are mentioned,
too many say,"I'll have lobster with mine".

We've been living on borrowed money and time,
and we need to go on a strict fiscal diet.
Yet too many say, "if you don't touch mine,
I might be willing to try it"!

come fly with me

by james robert

dance with me now
'neath love's starry sky
take both of my hands
as together we fly

time stands still
'til morn is decreed
in your loving arms
is my only need

may heaven bless
where lovers meet
that these two hearts
as one now beat

i ache to know;
your feel, your taste
come hither darling
let's no time waste

feel my warmth
to you imbue
where now is one
where once was two

let's visit places
to us unknown
as wonderful madness
becomes our home

let's never leave
for there's no reason
love's music sustains
our every season

let's stay ever
to seize love's chance
let's not forsake
love's moon lit dance

Saturday, November 13, 2010

night james robert

in my night dreams
you're always there
to kiss me
to love me
to tell me you care

as night turns into day
chasing stars away
and commerce bustles
and children play
you're never  home
you're always away
as if for my sins
i now must pay

then again
when night is here
i'm lost in love
and know not fear
for these few hours
we'll be as one
and hold each other
'til we see the sun

Summer/Fall 2010

Let' james robert


watch sunrises and sunsets
in season after season
surprise each other
for no special reason

never walk past each other
without a touch or a kiss
toss the," got ya,
and you're going to pay " list

be free to laugh and cry
and share all things together
go for long walks
in all of life's weather

watch Casablanca
and stay up late
dress up or dress down
and go on a date

find a blessing
in everything we do
many times each day,
say " I love you "

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Are you there? james robert

i know not where
or how to begin,
to tell you
how much i care

there's isn't time
in a day or a life,
for all that with you
i would share

know in your mind,
heart and soul,
that i will
always be there

give me your hand,
as i give you mine,
and walk with me
if you dare

i know in my heart
you're out there darling,
i need only know where

Summer/Fall 2010

My james robert

oh how i ache to hold you near
in summer and winter of every year
in love abundant, with no fear

i think of you and i can fly
i dream of us and ask not why
to you i give, land, sea, and sky

let's then walk thru city and wood
in familiar and foreign neighborhood
with love that's pure, brave and good

to meet your need, i will always try
for you to breathe, here take the sky
you have my heart, my soul, my eye

oh darling, i hope you understand
my love i give with no demand
you have my heart, please take my hand

my love, my darling, don't you see
let us forever and one day be
just us two, you and me

Autumn,2010...james robert

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Dream james robert

I've touched your lips a thousand times;
maybe more, it seems.
I've been held in love's sweet caress,
but only in my dreams.

I've seen the sunrise from the shore,
while holding you in my arms.
I know the feel of your every season,
and the promise of your charms.

Maybe I'm just one of love's fools;
as in dream after dream I host.
Maybe this is the cruelest joke,
and love truly is a ghost.

Maybe I've been kidding  myself.
When awake, I'm never sure.
'Tho night after night, your words and deeds,
have been perfectly loving and pure.

I guess I'll lie down to sleep; to dream,
and pray that you'll stop by again.
You've been here with me most every night,
since I can't remember when.

"Oh hello darling. I'm sorry I doubted us.
You know I always come back around.
Let's dance in the heavens with every last star,
and never, ever, come back down."

Fall of 2010/james robert

Monday, November 1, 2010

The Journey

When you're down to nothing,
God's up to something.
Stop making a fuss,
and get on the bus!

When you days are darkest,
and your nights too long,
you know the melody,
start singing along!

When all you know for certain,
is that you're really hurting.
You needn't cry alone in the rain.
Just get aboard the train!

When your pity parties,
are lasting all day,
He's there with help,
so get out of your own way!

When you're heading for a fall,
and ready to chuck it all.
When all you see is pain,
take your seat on the plane!

There's many ways to get there.
Don't be in such a hurry.
Just keep in mind the destination.
You are not alone on your journey!

Friday, October 29, 2010

Introducing the 2011 Bathsheba

by james robert
Ladies and gents
This is no amoeba
We proudly introduce
The 2011 Bathsheba

This year's model
Isn't for the wimps with no balls
With 1200 horse power
This mother hauls

It'll do zero to eighty
While you're still looking for your keys
Then coasts at 150
So kids, buckle up please

It's trimmed in Asian Walnut
And fine Corinthian Leather
Extremely aerodynamic
And light as a feather

Forget stopping at the gas station
If you want to keep this baby purrin
It doesn't run on gasoline
It only runs on urine

So when Johnny is screaming
And holding his wee
Just pull over folks
Let the kid pee

If you're running on empty
And no one has to go
Stop at Murphy's Pub
Must be someone there you know

The Bathsheba comes standard
With a modest rock stage
And with the fully staffed beverage center
This unit is all the rage

I know, you thinking
Wow, this is really, really great
But with all these fine amenities,
There must be at least a two year wait

Well, you would be wrong, high octane breath
C'mon down, the test ride is free
And if the tank's on empty,
Worry not, someone's always got to pee

Read more:

arrivederci james robert

repression found expression
and locked the inmates down
with fiddles playing gaily
as rome burns to the ground

it's a prescription for exodus
to quash the written word
as it would be to mother nature
taking the wings from a bird

seems the beatings will continue
'til morale gets back in line
sounds really dumb to me
but i say,"okay fine"

with this my 300th post
and last one at that
i think you've made it easy
for me to get my hat

i wish only the best
to all of my friends here
to net 300 poems
has taken half a year

i now take my leave
and get me from hence
as soon as my bags are packed
i'll thence be past tense

james robert/Leslie Moorly
October 27, 2010
My 300th and last post on hellopoetry

Bethany's Appliance james robert

no need for a gamey shirt
to be sportin
or thrice worn nickers
while you're doin some courtin
a broken washer is a major pity
welcome neighbor; to appliance city

washer broke?
dryer broke?
stove broke?
you broke?
we don't care
they're headed to Bethany's from everywhere

we have every major brand
most with scratches and dents
we're open 24/7
so hurry in ladies and gents

no money, we don't care
no job, we don't care
no credit, we don't care
can't sign the loan paperwork,
whoa default breath, we care

our crack staff
will get ya financed on the spot
we need to move the inventory,
this stuff is really hot

at Bethany's we never charge for delivery
so there you'll save a buck
it's delivered in the middle of the night
in a '56 chevy truck

just inside our huge warehouse,
you'll see the giant portrait of our C.E.O. and founder
he's currently doin 5 to 10
the Feds got em when he started to flounder

we've been servin the metro area now
since a week ago last sunday
we pride ourselves on customer service
well, except for those folks on monday

hurry down to appliance city
sears and roebuck, we're not
our friendly staff is always cool
and our merchandise always hot

dedicated to Bethany, fall, 2010

The Jack-O-Matic by Horner

by james robert
Horner proudly presents
The amazing Jack-O Matic
Folks, this rascal's a keeper
And won't end up in the attic

It has 112 speeds
It slices,dices and purees
With the patented uranus battery
It will keep running for days

In turns an entire buffalo
Into bouillon in just a minute
But frankly Scarlett, we don't give a damn
What you actually put in it

It'll crush ice
Or it will do the dishes
It will make come true
Most of your culinary wishes

It will liquefy and grate
Or just nip off the edges
It will scrub the kitchen floor
Or trim the driveway hedges

This technological marvel
Will shred, grind or blend
And before you can say, jack horner
It'll become your home's best friend

It cleans your household carpets
Gets rid of unsightly warts
Does most of the kid's homework
Including their book reports

It will mash your spuds
Or make them au gratin
It also acts as a blender
I had almost forgotten

For all this great blendage
Would $99.00 be too steep a fee
Well I hope your sitting down folks
For the next hour, this will all be free

You pay only shipping and handling
We certainly are not pounding sand
For the next 60 minutes folks
It'll only cost you a grand

Dedicated to jack horner

Read more:

i wrote a james robert

i wrote you a love poem
in words that were my own
if only you could have read it
to know my heart's your home

it told of love most pure
love honest and strong
it spoke only the truth
enveloped in loving song

it shared moments precious
as only one in love can tell
since i got lost in your eyes 
and into heaven fell 

it spoke in words of love
words straight from my heart
it said in words that lovers use
that loving you is art

i hope you would have loved
my words of joy and pain
that spoke only of my love
and sought naught else to gain

i pray you would have smiled
or maybe you would have cried
as you read of love that heaven sent
and of loneliness that died

i wish you had bathed 
in the love i sent your way
i've never waxed more lovingly
as i love you more each day

oh how i wish you had read
the poem i wrote today
but as i ran to deliver it 
a fierce wind blew it away

'tho now my words of love to you
are to the ends of the earth scattered
each time the wind whispers your name
you'll know how much you mattered

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

the golfer

by james robert
old tom was a fair country golfer;
a lover of the game was he.
the foursome was preparing to hit
off the very first tee.

old tom was addressing his ball
as a funeral procession drove by.
he removed his cap, covered his heart,
and looked up into the sky.

the other three men in the foursome,
saluted old tom thru their tears.
then old tom said," what the hell,
i was married to her for 43 years".

Read more:

The Road james robert

Too many miles spent
with wheel in hand;
though small towns and
farmland found my heart.

Too many nights spent
not alone, but lonely;
in different rural environs,
where I'd too often been before.

Too many mornings I'd awaken
forgetting where I had anchored.
Wishing I was anywhere other
than at commerce's service.

Too often if present company
was offensive, dull and boring;
I need look not farther
than the rear view mirror.

Though the beauty, freedom and
solitude make memory smile ever,
the loneliness and tedium
leave a most bitter taste yet.

james robert
September 26, 2010

Summer Fizzle

by james robert
summer is a hassle
summer is a bitch
with all this damned construction
they've got me driving in a ditch

summer is too humid
and sure as hell, too hot
i'm staying near the A/C
coming out i'm not

summer has too many pests
and way too many bugs
i'm spraying crap all over me
from one of these damned jugs

summer can also be
very very rude
she is bigger than a starter home
yet running out half nude

summer is also
loud as hell
here come harley's angels again
near as i can tell

summer is here and many
are having quite a ball
i'll take the changing colors, the green bay packers
and the crisp air of a wisconsin fall

Read more:

surrender by james robert

i looked in her eyes
and said to my heart
don't even go there
let's not even start

i looked in her heart
and said to my eyes
it looks like winter
lots of ice cold lies

i eyed her body
and said to my mind
it's not worth the cost
you'd be better blind

i then eyed her mind
and said,"hey body"
there's no one at home
her thinking's shoddy

i then eyed the sea
from my dicey perch
and knew all at once
love hung in the lurch

i then eyed the sea
from so far under
casting my lot with
sea's captured plunder

Summer james robert

summer is here
the days we all hold dear
enjoy a quiet picnic
with an ice cold beer

summer is great
all winter we wait
enjoy it early
and enjoy it late

summer is hot
in most every spot
of course in anarctica
it's actually not

summer is nice
for many a vice
where's that sexy lady
that went to get the ice

summer is a gas
but goes by too fast
everyone in the pool
this isn't going to last

summer is dear
lend me an ear
get up; get going
get off your rear

summer is a ball
come one; come all
let's party outside
right into fall

summer is too short
so better be a sport
have lots of fun
but remember to comport

summer is for all
skinny or fat: short or tall
c'mon batter
swing at the ball

summer is not for pikers
but it is for bikers
look at that harley chick
i really, really like her's

summer is just like life
lose the strife
grab a dance partner
maybe even your wife

summer is number one
go for a walk or a run
it's your life
get out there and have some fun

james robert
summer 2010

Two Minute james robert

the end is coming  
to the good old years
and it's coming soon
if we don't shift gears

the fleet is listing
it's ships are sinking
too many people
with stinking thinking

the joint is rockin
with many a zero
fiddling away
like good ole Nero

it's a Trojan horse
oh people of Troy
you better wake up
it's not a toy

james robert
August 16, 2010

Viagra james robert

the nuptials finally complete
it was time for the honeymoon
the Mrs. and i arrived at the Falls
shortly after noon

i was honeymooning late in life
and noone to take a chance, sir
so i chugged down nearly a gallon
of a well known male enhancer

from inside our deluxe cabin
we could see much of the falls
and hear the crash of water
echoing off our bedroom walls

from inside my relaxed fit Levi's
something certainly was amiss
i think it was just my orchis
swinging first that way; then this

at night, moonshine on the water
was the greatest source of glee
moonbeams gaily dancing
on silver shining sea

now, a single gonad
had worked itself quite free
and was lying on the carpet
defiantly staring back at me

it was a beautiful full moon
that lit rushing sea and sod alike
ya know, it just occurred to me
i may never again ride a bike

the stars also came out to play
in the way that stars will do
i kept looking at that family jewel
as it and i, turned blue

well, as the night turned into day
i cared less and less about the falls
i was getting a case of tunnel vision
i couldn't stop thinking about my ballocks

mid morning brought with it
more bad news in a big hurry
for my other rock went missing
now i was really beginning to worry

for here i was on my honeymoon
at the world famous Viagra Falls
and me and the mrs. were on all fours
in hot pursuit of my recalcitrant pudenda

james robert
summer 2010

Welcome Down To Entitlement james robert

Welcome down to entitlement town
Where everything is free
I've a hunch there's no free lunch
But let's keep that from the ruling bunch

Welcome down to entitlement town
We know that we can't fail
We have tons of steak and lobster
Hell, we're eating it by the pail

Welcome down to entitlement town
We're having our annual sale
If you've always wanted what's mine
You need only wait a minute, pal

Welcome down to entitlement town
This is heaven for you and me
If you long for the way it used to be
Cram it Bozo, now it's free

Welcome down to entitlement town
Hey wait, this just can't be
The bill has just arrived
And none of this stuff was free

Welcome down to entitlement town
Where all the shops are closed
A zillion public jobs got filled
Boy did we get hosed

Welcome down to entitlement town
Where we snoozed at the switch
They stole it all in broad daylight
Yes, it went without a hitch

what if...?

by james robert

what if i gave you
the key to my heart,
the Crown Jewels,
and priceless art?

what if i gave you
a brand new Rolls Royce,
and serenaded you
with Pavarotti's voice?

what if i gave you
my soul's combination,
my heart's secrets,
my mind's imagination?

what if i just gave you
my entire soul,
and swore by the heavens
that i'd never go?

what if i gave you
none of the above,
what if i just gave you
all of my love?

when all else fails

by james robert
when the singer in your soul
forgets the words to your song
and your get up and go
has gotten up and gone

when the line becomes fuzzy
separating right from wrong
and your dancer and your dance
are just stumbling along

when your truth is getting weaker
and your lies are getting stronger
and it's hard to hold your head up
very high for too much longer

when the words from your heart
won't come out of your mouth
and much of who you are
continues going south

maybe something novel
is what you'd like to try
perhaps you'll take a knee
or look up to the sky

while you are looking skyward
trying to locate your God
he is there inside you
so just give him a nod
james robert
August 7, 2010

Read more:

With liberty and justice...

by james robert
"All please rise for the honorable Judge Attila Hunsford."

                  "Attorney P. Bargainson, how does your client plead?"

"Your honor, if it pleases the court, although my client
was observed performing a piscatorial act in a public park
lagoon in broad daylight on several different occasions
this past summer, and was caught engaging in philately
with two undergrad coeds in the main branch of the
public library, he is pleading not guilty to the charge of
throwing caution to the wind."

                  "Bailiff, seize the defendant!"
james robert
October 4, 2010

Read more:

we needn't look too far

by james robert

a dark cloud
so much madness
senseless actions
so much sadness

a sharp dagger
thrust at will
love lacking
we pay the bill

is the light
nowhere near
set it right
lose the fear

stop this madness
let's make it right
as we can't have
both day and night

it breaks a fair man's
heart in two
watching what
we're going through

tell me now
just what to do
to bring the light
to me and you

okay, thank you
for now i see
it starts right here
inside of me

james robert
August 29, 2010

you and james robert


near you
with you
in you
i'm new

stay with me
play with me
pray with me
just us two

have fun with me
and run with me
be one with me
with just us two

will you stay with me
one more day with me
have your way with me
making one from two

you're fine with me
come dine with me
spend time with me
with just us two

try with me
live with me
die with me
just us two

won't do
want you
sans two
I'm blue


July, 2010

The Rose Ball

by james robert
I received an invitation
to Rose's birthday ball.
It said RSVP, wear a mask,
but otherwise bring nothing at all.

Well, it was a first for me,
but I certainly wanted to play ball.
So I left my clothes in the men's room,
and entered the birthday hall.

Wearing my Mickey Mouse mask,
otherwise just in the all together,
I was wishing I'd worn something else,
maybe something with at least a feather.

There were princes and paupers
and kings and queens,
all wearing at least,
a shirt and jeans.

There was Batman and Robin
and all the Disney dogs,
and then yours truly,
sans any togs.

Some revelers sported political masks
of Nixon, Johnson, Carter and Bush.
But I was the only party goer,
that also sported his tush.

Well, I'd had quite enough.
I wanted to get out of here;
I with a hand in front,
and I with a hand on rear.

I climbed out one of the bathroom windows;
racing like the wind thru that huge backyard.
Vowing this would be my last birthday bash,
next year I'll just send her a card.
james robert
September 25, 2010

Read more:

the poet

by james robert

this is our blood
these are our tears
this is a product
of so many years

these are our dreams
maybe our fears
seen through our eyes
heard through our ears

we write of beauty
we write of woe
we stand here naked
we will away not go

we may tell our tale
with a perfect rhyme
or simply scribe
with thoughts sublime

we are a hero
or we are a zero
Joe Shyte the rag man
or maybe Nero

we risk so much
laying all on the line
sometimes we fail
at times we do fine

we are people
of every blush
painting our truth
with poet's brush

we can make you laugh
or say my oh my
make you want to dance
or just make you cry

we say verily
and we say forsooth
maybe a white lie
or is it the truth

we are entertainers
just people of action
most nearly in heaven
with a rave reaction

james robert
august 30, 2010

The lies have it!

by james robert
"Dad, can I go over there?"

"Better not son, there's liars over there."

"Well dad, can I go over there?"

"No way son, there's liars over there too."

"Geez dad, can I at least  go over there?"

"Yeah son, looks pretty good over there."

"Oh really dad?"

"Nah, I was lying."
james robert
October 26, 2010

Read more:

The Cutting Room Floor by james robert

To be, or not to be...
( Nah, this will never fly.)

How do I love thee...
( They'll never buy this.)

To thine own self be true,...
( Man, some days you just don't have it.)

Shoo be doo be doo
(Okay, now you're cooking. They'll love this.)

Read more: james robert

she writes of love
he sings love's song
she writes of tears
from love gone wrong

they write of the dark
the absence of light
and things that go bump
in that cruel night

he writes of goodness
and kindnesses shared
his mind wide open
his heart too bared

she writes of truth
or the darkest lies
of a baby born
or a love that dies

he hits the target
she reaches the sky
or maybe not
'tho they both did try

July, 2010

The Blind james robert

We agreed to meet at a little dump
On the wrong side of midnight
We were the only two in the joint
I gave her a kiss
God I hate it when a woman chews tobacco

When the bar closed we took a walk
My briefs were way too tight
We drank cheap wine and ate Spam
I kissed her again
God I hate Spam

She invited me back to her place
We slept in the back seat listening to a m radio
In the morning, she and the battery were dead
I walked home in the rain
God I hate blind dates


by james robert
I'll say a prayer and think of you,
and wish there was more that I could do.
I'd help carry your cross for awhile with you,
if that was something I was able to do.

I'd give you my shoulder and handkerchief,
and wish I knew how to ease your grief.
I know that there are really no words I can say,
to lighten your load on Krystal's day.

Amid all the pain of losing someone so loved,
remember she resides in the blessed above.
She is in heaven; our loss and her gain,
where she'll know not sorrow, discomfort or pain.

Words are far too elusive at times like these,
God help me find words of comfort, please.
All we can do is take a knee and nod,
remember all the good; let go, and let God.

Patty's daughter Krystal passed away on 4/22/2010.
Today, 10/9/2010, is Krystal's 23rd birthday.
james robert
October 9, 2010

Read more:

oh james robert

yes you my love
of warmest sunlight
that brightest shines
making tropics
of northern climes'

let's leave cold rain
for others to find
and lose ourselves
in space and time
in each others heart
in each others body
in each others mind

and leave this planet
and lose this plane
and head to shangrila
on the edensville train

so close the blinds
and dim the light
at love's abode
that i've been seeking

i'm home at last
i'll hold you fast
one shadow there
as we go streaking

on beaches secluded
of heaven's shore
and fields magnificent
of flowers and more

on virgin pathways
now know by two
in love's cartel
of me and you

i'll love you well
'tho rich or poor
and hope it's wisely
and keeps no score

i'll love you forever;
not one day more
for it's you my love
that i adore
it's you and no other
that i live for

james robert
October 19, 2010

oh james robert

oh lady love
say it's so
say it's okay
say maybe
but don't say no
say why
say let's try
say take my hand
and let's to heaven fly
but don't say bye

oh lady fair
please tell me true
that you love me
as i love you
that winds are calm
that skies are blue
that one plus one
not equal two
if one plus one
is me and you

oh lady mine
come walk with me
oh heart's delight
come talk with me
be the first to know my day
to share your heart
to ever stay
be with me
as you may
be with me ever
and one day

of such is poetry

by james robert

of moonlit nights
and fancy's flights
and sun bathed days
and love's arrays
of journeys taken
or vows forsaken
and words that rhyme
and words that don't
and thoughts that inspire
or those that set some hearts afire
of writes that make you say,"oh yes i know it!"
or poems that make you say, "what?"
of this, and so much more, is poetry
james robert
September 26, 2010

Read more:

Of late night promises to self...

by james robert

Too many midnight vows to oneself made,
fade away as dew in morning's light;
more I fear, than  grains of sand,
on every earthly shore.

Too many great and true bargains struck,
between one's mind and heart at lonely hours;
vanish as do the heaven's brightest stars,
at sunlight's daily and certain ascent.

Too many great voyages planned for self,
at late night's dim but steady burning lamp;
become the shore's broken twisted driftage,
or rest finally and forever on ocean's floor.

james robert
October 4, 2010

No Escape

by james robert

I loaded the good and the bad, from all of the years into a worn out old
trunk, and then tossed it all from this secluded cliff into the raging sea

I thought that I could escape the past by just throwing it all away
forever, when there was no one watching me.

The trunk sailed and tumbled through the air, heading ever seaward
as I watched and waited for the freedom that would soon be mine.

As the trunk made the acquaintance of it's final resting place, I noticed
that the rope securing the trunk's lid was also tied to my foot.

So I now follow the trunk's path to our watery grave. Forever I'll be
a slave to all I've ever done, and to my failed escape attempt.

July 22, 2010


by james robert

miracles are in the air
miracles are everywhere
miracles are big and small
miracles are for us all

some miracles keep us from danger
like the outstretched hands of a stranger
some miracles untie a tether
and thus we feel light as a feather

a miracle might be
for little girls and boys
that jolly ole fat guy
with a sleigh full of toys

or a loved one you feared
had fallen into harms way
here with you enjoying
one more precious day

a miracle might be
the blind that now see
the deaf that now hear
the sad filled with glee

a miracle might be
a smile or kind word
or once more enjoying
a flower or a bird

some miracles give us perfect love
a gift that was sent us from above
some miracles handle things mundane
like a dry seat in the pouring rain

james robert
august 20, 2010

Mined Over Matter!

by james robert
I had heard the voice
of the Mad Hatter.
And I asked of him,
"what is the matter"?

He then responded.
"Listen to my chant,
or as some may say,
a zaney man's rant".

"It is most simply,
mind over matter.
I surely don't mind,
that you don't matter."
james robert
August 11, 2010

Read more:

Madison Avenue

by james robert
just a pinch
between your cheek and gums
and you'll have a tighter tummy
and world class bumms
the miracle elixir
is finally here
hey queue up folks
the line forms to the rear

lose your job?
mortgage too high?
mix an ounce or two
in your chicken pot pie

credit card blues?
rising union dues?
want a full head of hair?
or a better night's snooze?
now in easy to swallow gel
whatdaya got to lose?

car won't start?
don't even have a ride?
or your lover's getting icy?
maybe someone on the side?
just a capful in your coffee
just an ounce in your tea
you'll be getting yours
are you kidding me?
james robert
October 7, 2010

Read more:

Losing Control

by james robert
she called me
a low rent
ugly beast
a friend to none
or of her's at least
she thought i was
a thieving
vicious sort
she said
loving me was
no spectator sport
with increasing invective
she brought the heat
unable to stand
i took a seat
now i searched only
for prayers and hopes
for she really had me
against the ropes
with my hopes fading
i searched my soul
said sorry baby
and quietly surrendered
the remote control

Read more:

Lorraine, the rain, the pain...

by james robert

I clumb up a pea vine
to visit Lorraine;
on a rainy fall evenin,
just to ease my pain.

I clumb up a pea vine
as fast as I could.
If memory served me well,
she looked awfully good.

I had met her at a facility
for the tad bit deranged.
There the plans for our trist,
painstakingly arranged.

I clumb up a pea vine
one foot at a time.
I prayed Lorraine's lips
soon would meet mine.

She was sequestered
on the 73rd floor.
She, no bull goose loony,
I was fairly sure.

I clumb up a pea vine
to get me some lovin.
But half way up the vine,
there's pushin and shovin.

Seems our quiet rendezvous
was for more than two this time.
Even in the darkness and the rain,
I counted one hundred forty-nine.

I clumb down a pea vine
with caution ever growin;
the rain goin sideways;
wind increasingly blowin.

I clumb down a pea vine
with far too many others.
I'd would be anywhere else,
if I had my druthers.


by james robert

i saw the light
     in the many, many skies
i saw the light
     in many a child's eyes
i saw the light
     in a morn's greet
i saw the light
     when lovers meet
i saw the light
     both day and night
i saw the light
     when we did fight
i saw the light
     when we did right

james robert
August 29, 2010

Just Thinking

by james robert

At times I'm thinking
What's the use
So many comments
Too obtuse
And then a ray of hope breaks through
A different slant
New point of view

At times I'm thinking
How can this be
Why so few people
Think like me
And then a friend may happen by
Clouds disperse
I see the sky

At times I'm thinking
Things look bad
I'm getting crazy
I'm going mad
And with the smallest gift received
Game on
I've been reprieved

At times I'm thinking
We must keep trying
Among the liars
Amid the lying
And then an honest soul stops by
Battery recharged
You bet I'll try

At times I'm thinking
What the hey
When day seems night
And night seems day
And then the sun begins to shine
There now is peace
All is fine

Just Saying

by james robert

I can say
nice day
can you come out to play

I can say
let's try
i'll show you how to fly

I can say
please stay
it's our day
let's find a way

I can say
no lie
it is i
give us a try

But no matter if i cry
or how hard i try
i can't find the words
to say goodbye

james robert
summer, 2010

Just a thought!

If some idiot in Afghanistan, Pakistan, or Iran,
burned 1,000,000 bibles,
wrapped in two million U. S. flags,
would the christian world,
or the United States of America,
threaten or harm Islam,
based solely on that fool's actions?

james robert
September 9, 2010

jus speculatin

by james robert

'course i'm jus speculatin
'bout what's goin on
so much needin fixin
yet without a magic wand

most times i'm thinkin
'bout the u s of a
mostly reminiscin
'bout a kinder gentler day

'n if nothin's shakin
anytime real soon
i might crank up the old buick
and just fly me to the moon

james robert
September 27, 2010

It's About Love

by james robert
are we making any progress
toward the final destination
as we outlaw God
in our great nation

admittedly the old methods
were so horribly sad
but to choose darkness over light
is much more than bad

as a youth i watched burning incense
waft up to an angry God
when i asked for his forgiveness
i was too frightened to see him nod

they had so many icons
like the ever present dove
perhaps they should have stressed
his unconditional love

i'm not selling anything
except maybe a little hope
when i think back to where i started
i'm amazed that i can cope

Read more:

if i had a magic wand...

by james robert

if i had a magic wand
for just a day or two
there would be so many changes
for there's so much work to do

most non-violent offenders
would be fined and released from prison
and all laws would be adjudicated as written
not just based on whim or political decision

i'd drastically lower the income tax
and put fiber in Fruit Loops
i'd say "up yours" to wars
and bring home all the troops

i'd immediately enact term limits
for the whole of washington, d.c.
what a difference this would make
in terms of productivity and honesty

no one would get a penny that he hadn't earned
but we would make available food, clothing and a bed
so the basics would be handled
and none of the needy would come up dead

i would stop sending millions of dollars overseas
to people who wished we were dead
and only send help to our friends
and friends of friends instead

i'd take the now available military
and have them help restore order
a good place for them to start
might be at our southern border

we would still have immigration
and let many good folks in
but keep the killers and gangsters out
sounds to me like we all win

there's so much that needs to be done
surely the above and then beyond
for the list is really endless
if i had a magic wand

james robert
September 27, 2010

Identity Theft

by james robert
What if they stole my identity
and quickly ran to the bank,
inquired about my accounts
and found that I was in the tank?

What if they delved deeply
into who I really am,
only to discover
that I'm actually on the lam?

What if they stole my identity
and immediately gave it back?
Couldn't that be considered
the rudest personal attack?

What if they pilfered
so much of my life?
Shouldn't they then be forced
to also take my ex-wife?

What if they stole my identity
through some nefarious scam,
then quickly deleted me
and reported me as spam?

Read more:

I never saw it coming

by james robert
I said hi
She said bye
I said hey
She said no way
She said dutch
I said I'll pay
And so it went all day

I said black
She said white
She said day
I said night
She said stay
I took flight
And so it went all night

She said you're tardy
I said let's party
She acted hurt
I played the flirt
She began to cry
I ate more pie
Of course I say this tongue and cheek
And so it went all week

I ordered mine with the works
Hers was ordered plain
She said it was a sunny day
I said it looks like rain
I said we were quite a pair
She said she didn't care
So I took her for my wife
And thus it went all my life

Read more:

Poetcatraz...The Rock

by james robert
"I guess they're sending
only the worst offenders here now.
I'm here for poor rhyming and
excessive alliteration.
I got 5-10, how bout you?"

          "I got 15 to life for three counts of using
          iambic pentameter with a known thespian."


james robert
October 2, 2010

Read more:

i met a man

by james robert

i met a man
we looked each other straight in the eye
who is this man;

i met a man; each eye to eye
of fear and anger was this lost soul
no love could find this coldest heart
no apology sufficient for the offense
some words he voiced disturbed my ear
some ideas he embraced offended my mind
some deeds he'd done challenged my integrity
he, that can so readily hate and raise his voice so
uttering sharp words that can cut another in two
he, that can wish evil on others and embrace the big lies

i met a man; each eye to eye
of kindness and love was this fair soul
he that loved to laugh at self and life
with tears that flowed early and justly
of peace and quiet and honest smiles
of pained heart at the loss of friend or not
and to give without taking his heart's most desire
a friend in need must ask but once
a baby in his arms most close to the womb
and a stranger, really no stranger at all

i met a man
we looked each other straight in the eye
this image i see in the mirror;
it is i

james robert
October 8, 2010


by james robert


          'don't i get a last request?'


          'before you shoot me, kin i have a smoke?'


July 24, 2010

Where's the meat?

by james robert

I arrived home from the market
And had just parked my car
Only a few steps to my door
Not really that far

When I espied some young toughs
Wearing lean hungry looks
All schooled in the streets
None taught by the books

Before I could even begin
To say hey
They had purloined my sirloin
And were well on their way

So I dropped all my goods
Running in hot pursuit
Like a bloodhound on steroids
I followed their route

Down street after street
Pounding my feet
After the thugs
After my meat

Well, I finally caught them
And knew life was fair
Because their goose was cooked
And my sirloin still rare

What's good for the goose...

by james robert
If Islam is just a religion, than burning the Koran would be like burning the Bible.  Although disrespectful, tasteless and silly, not reason enough to spill human blood.

If Islam is much more than a religion, such as a life system, with political, legal, economic, social and military components, than burning the Koran would be more like burning the American flag or the U.S. Constitution. Maybe even burning the flag and bible together. This too is disrespectful, tasteless, and silly, but again, no reason to spill human blood.

I believe the person or persons doing the burning in any case , are showing disapproval or contempt for a philosophy and way of life.

I advocate burning nothing, but if burning any of the above is acceptable behavior, then burning all of the above should be acceptable behavior.
james robert
September 7, 2010

Read more:

I'm Here Baby

by james robert

Wish I could wrap my heart around your soul;
let you scream and cry until you feel whole.
And have you realize how much I care.
That I'm not going anywhere;
any time soon,

james robert

Hell Yes

by james robert
as i flew high above route 666
i knew the evil one had been up to her tricks
good people, indeed were dying
the meek and the weak
couldn't stop crying
and the strong and the wrong
had been smiling and lying

there were signs of decay
from the fallen big apple
to the peoples republic by the bay
from the windful city with big shoulder pads
to old orleans washed away
from northwest monsoon madness
to dade's north bay

physical decay is not the issue
whereby we meet this day
it's the loss of common sense and courtesy
and the big lies that pave the way
it's the saying,
by those with the biggest dogs in the fight
that day is night
that black is white
and last but not least;
good God almighty,
that wrong is actually right
james robert
October 5, 2010

Read more:

Game Tied

by james robert
wouldn't it be a pity
wouldn't it be a shame
if they threw a war
and nobody came

the six o'clock report
would be crying the blues
score still knotted at zero
would be the breaking news

wives, kids, husbands and dads
wouldn't be apart
nor would we have a loved one
nursing a broken heart

who could possibly be against
a war that never even got going
maybe the haliburtatious types
whose coffers are overflowing

wouldn't it be a pity
wouldn't it be a shame
if they threw a war
and no one dressed for the game

Read more:

Halfway To Hell

by james robert
Have a drink with a vet?

           no thanks, I've quit.
           what outfit?

I notify the families of the fallen.

           wow, i spose one won't hurt.
           barkeep, Jameson's.

           leave the bottle!

Read more:

Much Ado...

by james robert
sometimes my best isn't too damned good
i guess it's actually real close to nothing
but it is still a little bit of something
though not much; nothing at all
well it is something er, sort of
tho' not so much in reality
hardly anything i guess
just a little actually
a wee bit i spose'
nothing really
well except
i'm sorry
and i do
i am
james robert
October 16, 2010

Read more:

Hey Stasche...

by james robert
"Hey Stasche."
          "Ya Ole."

"Does the U.S. Constitution allow for the building of an Islamic center 600' from Ground Zero?"

          "Ya shuer Ole."

"Well Stasche, is the building of a mosque at that location something distasteful, disrespectful and hurtful to millions of people in the U.S.of A. and around the world?"

          "Oh, ya shuer Ole."

"Does the U.S. Constitution allow for the burning of the Koran by some Idiot in florida, Stasche?"

          "Ya shuer Ole."

"Well Stasche, is the burning of the Koran by some moron in Florida something distasteful, disrespectful and hurtful to millions of people in the U.S.of A. and around the world?"

          "Oh, ya shuer Ole."

"Stasche, I wonder why the President of the United States is for constitutional rights where the Muslim mosque is concerned and against constitutional rights where the American minister in Florida is concerned."

          "Ya dare hey, Ole!"
james robert
September 11, 2010

Read more:


by james robert
Throw mama from the train, a kiss,
for this lovely lady, I do so miss.
This beautiful, kind, and gentle bird,
through example, taught love of the written word.

With the best, she could turn the other cheek,
while her heart beat no faster.
A wonderful trait, indeed,
that I've yet to master.

She'd sing while making breakfast,
if the truth be told.
After Theodora was born,
God threw away the mold.

Though your ascent to heaven,
should not be occasion for tears.
I still miss you so,
after these eight plus years.

Hardly a day passes without me saying,
"Theo would have liked this too".
Oh Theo, you gentle soul,
how I do love you!
Leslie Moorly
July 17, 2010
For my mom, Theo

Read more:

The Rest Of The Story

by james robert
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall...which according to federal prosecutors
contained several tons of Acapulco Gold marijuana, with an estimated
street value in excess of the U. S. national debt. Details are sketchy at this hour as the investigation is ongoing.
Treasury Secretary, Timothy Geithner, reached at his local H & R Block office said,"not only is this the largest drug bust in U.S. history, but our economic problems seem to be solved as well". White house officials when pressed for a comment, merely said they hadn't read it yet.

In an unrelated story, there was an old woman who lived in a shoe and had so many kids that she reportedly received in excess of $1,000,000 in entitlements over the past decade. All attempts by our staff to interview the woman were unsuccessful as we couldn't catch up to her Lamborghini Murcielago sports car.

And finally, Jack Sprat could eat no fat and his wife could eat no lean, so after more than 30 years of marriage, the couple has decided to call it quits. A spokesperson for Jack said that he has left the country as all we eat here is fat.

Updates on these and other stories tonight at 11.
Leslie Moorly
June, 2010

Read more:

Jamie Marie

by james robert

Oh Jamie Marie
where do I start,
with a daughter so loved;
a huge piece of my heart?

Oh Jamie Marie, oh Jamie Marie,
happy two years of sobriety.
You've located the wagon.
You're slaying the dragon.
I'm as proud as a dad can be.

Oh Jamie Marie,
dare I say,"oh boy"?
My tears today,
are tears of joy!

You have a story to tell,
for you have answered the bell.
I can see your smiles,
across all the miles.
You have surely escaped from hell!

Happy two year anniversary,
to my Jamie so loving and kind.
I love you more than you'll ever know,
and you are always on my mind.

August 1, 2010
For my daughter Jamie; drug free for 2 years!